hullonurse | † 004 [Video]

[Upon the deck of the Weather Hardy, there stands the perfect image of a pirate queen (yes, that's what she's actually wearing) in all her splendor, smirking down at the communicator.]

Yarr, we here be claiming this ship in the name of England. [But, Rosemary, you're a pirate, pirates don't claim things in the name of their country-] If ye be wanting it back, we'll require all your gold, jewels and rum. [Yeah, that sounds more pirate-ish.] Then maybe we'll be considerin' your request, after you've begged a little.

[In the background, a male, English voice can be heard shouting something pirate-ish and those with good eyes might be able to make out the male England dressed similarly.]

In the meantime, you'll all be addressin' me as Captain Kirkland, and any scurvy dog who doesn't will feel the edge of my sword.

... [After letting that sink in, her smirk grows just a little and her voice drops back to her more normal, refined accent.] This is all rather fun, isn't it?

[ooc; Yeah, both England's have "commandeered" the Weather Hardy. I'll be responding to threads but be prepared for viscous threadjacking by Male England on occasion too. This here be lawless waters, savvy?]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ HIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSS. ]

Better?

They're not snakes! Bloody hell, have you ever even met a vampire?

I'm dating one! But it'd be kinda awkward to make the noises he makes.

[ belatedly: ] ...And I'm a vampire now too! I should know what vampires sound like!

You're still grounded, matey! [NO DATING no lovers not even cute vampire ones!!] And clearly ye be knowing nothin'!

YOU CAN'T GROUND A VAMPIRE THAT'S ILLEGAL.

And clearly you know nothing! It ain't the language that matters, it's the blood sucking! I've already got that covered.

I CAN GROUND WHOEVER I WANT! Now go to your coffin and behave like a good creature of the night! [England, what...]

Ye won't be sucking none of my blood tonight, idiot! ... Maybe we can be finding you a snack though.

No, I've got blood to suck, women to seduce, and make a crazy guy eat spiders and bid his loyalty to me!

Yeah? And who's gonna stop me?

...Wait what kind of snack.

... Who are you going to seduce?

.......Depends. On a scale of 1 to Bella Swan, how enamored are you with me right now?

[ I don't even care that Twilight isn't in 1969 AMERICA CAN BREAK TIME AND SPACE TO MAKE THIS JOKE. ]

... Less so with every word that comes out of your mouth.

What if I take my shirt off?

Don't be doing that, lad, you'll catch your death of a chill.

I'm undead, I don't chill!

What if you take your shirt off?

It's already mostly off.

Yeah, I can uh, see that. I meant all off.

I don't see what that would accomplish.

...It'll increase my allure?

... No, matey, I don't think that'll be the case.

No harm in trying! [ at this point he's convincing himself that somehow, her shirt off will make him a better vampire. it's not even a ploy anymore. it legitimate absurd reasoning. ]

[Innocent babby. Stupid, stupid, innocent babby.]

It makes no bleeding sense!

You only say that because you don't understand vampirism! You know nothing of my kind.

Don't you take that tone with me! I know everything there is to know about the occult, I'm a pirate! [Those two things have nothing to do with each other, England...]

Then you'd know that you can't ground vampires and shirtlessness is a signature trait of supernatural creatures!

Vampires be very well dressed, I'll have you know!

Yeah, right. And pirates can use real English!

Edited 2011-11-15 05:05 (UTC)

(no subject)

hullonurse - 2011-11-19 01:59 (UTC) - Expand

starspangledhero - 2011-11-19 02:41 (UTC) - Expand